A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Stuffed Turkey

Baby Bruno was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

"What are you doing?" Bruno asked.

"Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his grandmother replied.

"That's cool!" Bruno said.

"Are you going to hang it next to the deer?"

Frozen Turkeys

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

This week’s recipes are: Ice Cream Pumpkin Pie and Ryan's Pumpkin Nut Bread

Ice Cream Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients:

1 package (9 ounces) prepared graham cracker pie crust

1 pint vanilla ice cream softened

1 can (16 ounces) pumpkin

1 cup whipped cream

3/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

1/2 teaspoon salt

Instructions:

1. Fill pie crust with ice cream; freeze until solid.

2. In medium bowl, combine pumpkin, whipped cream, sugar, pumpkin pie spice and salt.

3. Spoon mixture over frozen layer of ice cream in crust; freeze until solid.

4. To serve, remove pie from freezer and place in refrigerator one hour before serving. Slice and serve with additional whipped cream, if desired.

Cooking tip: Frozen non-fat yogurt and fat-free whipped topping may be used in place of ice cream and whipped cream.

Ryan’s Pumpkin Nut Bread

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, melted

4 eggs

1 can (14-1/2 oz.) pumpkin

1/2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. ground cloves

1 tsp. ground nutmeg

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

2-3/4 cups flour

1 cup chopped nuts

Instructions:

1. Melt butter.

2. Add eggs and pumpkin. Beat thoroughly.

3. Add sugars, baking soda and powder, and spices. Beat thoroughly until all lumps are removed.

4. Add flour. Beat thoroughly.

5. Add nuts and mix.

6. Spoon into 2 greased bread pans.

7. Bake for 1 hour at 350¡F. Test with toothpick to ensure loaves are ready.

The last Bible trivia question was: What river divided when the prophet Elisha struck it with Elijah’s cloak? The answer was the Jordan River.

Those answering the question were: Mom Powell, Hannah Wooten, Fred Green, Patti Ellis, Alice V. Mullins, Brenda Cline, Beatrice Cline, Ronald Cline, Travis Cline, Harry and Mattie Riddle, Harry Riddle Jr., Linda and Steve Michonski, Lillie Barker, Ann Alderman, Sebert and Joyce Miller, Jim Roberts, Lillie Salyers, Joe Waters, Phyllis White, Linda Michael, Don White, Rick Mills, Misty Roberts, Ernest Buchanan, Melissa Lovejoy, Mick Householder, and Joe Keenan, Lori Marcum, Edna Thomas and Christine McClanahan.

This week’s Bible trivia is: What two cloth items, after being touched by the apostle Paul, were used to heal the sick and drive out demons?

Email Bible trivia answers to society@coalvalleynews.com.